A long time ago I started dreaming about this beautiful piece of art that I wanted. I wanted it to represent my family and our growth. I wanted it to represent where we have been and where we are going. I wanted it to represent the beauty and also the roughness that has made our little family what it is today and what it will be in the future.

I wanted it on my body.

For those of you who know me personally, you know that I don’t really like tattoos on my body. I appreciate and respect others that have multiple tattoos and really enjoy hearing about and learning what they mean to each person. A tattoo is such an expression of that individual and can represent so much.

I just never really wanted one on me… until…

I put much thought into this piece of body art when I was pregnant with Rosser. I got pregnant again and had little Mason… all the while I thought and thought about this piece of art. As Rosser and  Mason grew, and I knew we would be trying for another baby soon, my desire to have my family represented on my body also grew and grew.

I researched and sketched ideas. I talked to Ross about ideas and confided in one of my dear friends Lillie. Both offered insights that I had not thought of. We talked and discussed and looked at pictures. We threw ideas around.

We made an appointment for a consultation at a local tattoo parlor in Raleigh.

I invested a bit of time into this particular tattoo parlor, doing a lot of research and multiple visits.

The day finally came to get the tattoo… after a laundry list of weird things that happened and bad energy being displaced on my little tattoo trio (me, Ross and Lillie),we finally landed at this little tattoo parlor in downtown Carrboro NC, Glenn’s Tattoo Service, Inc. We met with a gentle man who soaked in my ideas and listened to me intently. I can’t even begin to describe the calming effect he had on me. His name was Paulie.

I left him with a bunch of pictures, a brief history of Rosser and Mason’s births. I told him about the loss that Ross and I experienced together and how we mourned and processed. I explained to him how we envisioned our future together as a happy growing little family.

I left feeling like I had just talked to a therapist! I was so comforted to know that I had turned over all of this precious and personal information to someone who would treat it appropriately.

A few months later I received a phone call that the sketch was done. Lillie and I went to look at it. The nervous anticipation was swirling through my body!

The first time I laid my eyes on Paulie’s sketch, I felt as if he had taken a jumble of information in my head and turned it into this beautiful piece of art work that will stay with me forever.

A few weeks later, I returned to Glenn’s Tattoo Service Inc to begin the process of getting my tattoo. Of course I was nervous, but Ross and Lillie were with me and that made it better. I didn’t see it until he was finished with the outline.

It was perfect. It was made for me. It was me.

I have since gone back for some background and still need to get some shading done, but I wanted to share it with you today because it is now a part of me.

The flower on the top is my birth flower for February, an Iris.

The second flower is Ross’ birth flower for July, a Larkspur.

The third large flower is Mason’s birth flower for August, a Gladiolus.

The little flowers that bloom around are Rosser’s birth flower for May, Lilly of the Valley

The little Lilly of the Valley buds, that are not yet blooming, signify Rosser in the womb with his twin, our little baby that we lost.

As you can see the flowers are growing and blooming on a vine-like branch. Each flower is independent but still connected together by an awesome common bond.

There is room for growth on this tattoo and I love what that symbolizes.

The process of getting this tattoo was long and sometimes very emotional. A lot of thought was put into every single detail and I feel a part of me has healed and is ready for what the future holds.

I hope you have enjoyed seeing such a personal part of me. I have enjoyed sharing it. (more pictures to come when it is 100% completed)

Like Creating Your Calm on Facebook!